I can not for the life of me remember my 3rd date. I have come to the conclusion that it must have been too boring for my brain to even consider making it a long term memory. It's cool.
So I went through a crazy Myspace dating period in my life. I think a lot of people did that, or at least that's what I like to convince myself so I don't feel so awkward about it. I was really fucking good at finding people on Myspace, like scary good. You could give me just your first name and maybe a few things about you and I could find you on Myspace. That site made stalking so easy. Not that I was creepy, I would add them and send them a message usually the same day, which I guess is creepy. Let me rephrase. I wasn't in your bushes creepy, I was more like show up at your door with flowers creepy. Luckily guys don't care about that shit if your a cute girl, because none of them gave me flack for internet stalking them. They usually asked me out on a date. Which brings me to
Date #4
So there was this guy Tyler. This guy was the sliest mother fucker I have ever met. I have seen his magic work on multiple people, and it's damn impressive. He is to this day a fox. I had a crush on him the first time I saw him, which was a picture of him and his adorable girlfriend on his page. I was pretty bummed that he was taken, but such is life with most attractive charming guys. I gave up hope, but had a major crush on him anyways, because fuck it. I can daydream about this cutie, ain't harmin' nobody. It was about a year later when I got a friend request from Mr.Slyfox (a nick name I just came up with) himself. I hadn't been to his page in about a year, because seeing him with a girl that was not me was not the best feeling (I was 14, my emotions didn't have to be sane). So I go to his page, and guess who has two attractive thumbs and is single? That guy, that's who. I was so fucking happy. So we start commenting each other back and forth, shit was way cute. He asked if I wanted to hang out, and go to goodwill. Obviously I did. So I get there early, totally thinking this was a prank. No way did this guy want to hang out with me. Low and behold he shows up. And we have a fucking great time. We look at clothes that smelt of used human. We walked around aimlessly joking, and getting to know the real us. Then we ate at a questionable Chinese food restaurant, and stared into each others eyes. We walked over to the mall, and played some video games where I totally kicked his ass. He bought me and him hot chocolate and we sat outside drinking them, and discussing what our favorite video games were. I was 14 so I of course brought a camera and took pictures of us. I think mostly I wanted proof that it was indeed real, and not a dream. We ended the night we a kiss, and I basically floated on a cloud for at least a week.
We ended up going on quite a few more dates after that, and dated for a few weeks. I let him borrow my favorite teddy bear, Mr. Pants. He still has him. Luckily I didn't give him my heart, or he probably would have done the same. Asshole.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Scooter
I love my scooter. I love riding it. I love looking at it. I love when people don't try and hit it. I also love when people don't move it or touch it.
First off, I don't know what kind of idiots have been released into the world, but it is NOT cool to tamper with someone's stuff without their permission, I feel like this is a general rule, but for some unknown reason bitches have been moving my scooter around to take my parking spot. First off, this is my parking spot, you asshole. I wouldn't do that to your piece of shit car. I feel like everyone should treat scooters like genitals. Thou shall not touch, tamper or ride without permission from owner.
It's a pretty simple concept.
Fuckers.
Another thing, just because I am on a scooter, and you are in a car does not mean you get to negate all rules. If we both have stop signs, and I get there first and you are a piece of shit, you have to wait for me to finish crossing for you to go. I don't care if I am going slower than an old lady carrying 2 midgets and an accordion on her back, you wait your fucking turn. I do enjoy being on a scooter, because it is much easier to communicate your feelings to other people. I can simply stop in the middle of the road, look you dead in the eye and point to your stop sign an then proceed to scoot off at a comfortable 3 mph.
It also comes in handy when I was to cut into traffic and they are backed up at a red light, I can just wave to the person and ask with arm signals that I would very much appreciate if they'd let me cut in front of them. Or else that's what I feel I'm saying, in reality I am flailing my arms around, pointing to the space in front of their car and giving them a shrug/thumbs up.
First off, I don't know what kind of idiots have been released into the world, but it is NOT cool to tamper with someone's stuff without their permission, I feel like this is a general rule, but for some unknown reason bitches have been moving my scooter around to take my parking spot. First off, this is my parking spot, you asshole. I wouldn't do that to your piece of shit car. I feel like everyone should treat scooters like genitals. Thou shall not touch, tamper or ride without permission from owner.
It's a pretty simple concept.
Fuckers.
Another thing, just because I am on a scooter, and you are in a car does not mean you get to negate all rules. If we both have stop signs, and I get there first and you are a piece of shit, you have to wait for me to finish crossing for you to go. I don't care if I am going slower than an old lady carrying 2 midgets and an accordion on her back, you wait your fucking turn. I do enjoy being on a scooter, because it is much easier to communicate your feelings to other people. I can simply stop in the middle of the road, look you dead in the eye and point to your stop sign an then proceed to scoot off at a comfortable 3 mph.
It also comes in handy when I was to cut into traffic and they are backed up at a red light, I can just wave to the person and ask with arm signals that I would very much appreciate if they'd let me cut in front of them. Or else that's what I feel I'm saying, in reality I am flailing my arms around, pointing to the space in front of their car and giving them a shrug/thumbs up.
This is why, this is why
I'm hot.
This is why I'm hot.
Does anyone care to remember that song? Well I was putting on a playlist that had "Hit's from 00's", because any decision at 5:30am is a bad one and that is the first song that comes on. I then realize it's not the best music to be playing so early/late and I felt bad for my roommate. Then I realized I felt bad for my ears as well. It was in that moment of turning down, not off "This is Why I'm Hot' that I decided I really needed to reevaluate my life.
Because the singer of that song (whom I do not care to look up) knows why he is hot, and I am still very unsure of my own hotness, and where it would be originating from.
Also, have you ever thought something was completely normal and totally something everyone else did until you say it out loud and no one knows what the fuck you are talking about? No? Oh, well it's really awkward. My coworker added too much soap to the dish water so there were bubbles for days, and I was all like "hey remember when you were little, and you were taking bubble baths and you brought out the bubble monster (which is your hand opening and closing. it is seriously the quickest way to destroy bubbles) and ate all the bubbles? What's that mom? Bubble bath? I THINK NOT".
Yeah she just stared at me. Apparently "Bubble Monster" is a Megan only thing. Which is kind of sad, because he was way kick ass and I don't think any of my bubble baths would have been quite as cool without him.
I also used give myself bubble beards.
And if we had the good shampoo, I'd lather my hair up real nice and make that shit stand straight up...fuck it, I still do that.
It's the deciding factor of whether or not I buy a shampoo again. Because I'm an adult
Oh. No. Oh no. I just typed "bubble monster" into google to see if I could get a cool picture, and there was a picture of a fat man in a bubble bath holding his penis. Oh dear god. I am pretty sure he was sleeping in the picture, which makes it all the more strange. WHO TOOK THE PICTURE? This is something I can't unsee. Thanks a lot guy.
This is why I'm hot.
Does anyone care to remember that song? Well I was putting on a playlist that had "Hit's from 00's", because any decision at 5:30am is a bad one and that is the first song that comes on. I then realize it's not the best music to be playing so early/late and I felt bad for my roommate. Then I realized I felt bad for my ears as well. It was in that moment of turning down, not off "This is Why I'm Hot' that I decided I really needed to reevaluate my life.
Because the singer of that song (whom I do not care to look up) knows why he is hot, and I am still very unsure of my own hotness, and where it would be originating from.
Also, have you ever thought something was completely normal and totally something everyone else did until you say it out loud and no one knows what the fuck you are talking about? No? Oh, well it's really awkward. My coworker added too much soap to the dish water so there were bubbles for days, and I was all like "hey remember when you were little, and you were taking bubble baths and you brought out the bubble monster (which is your hand opening and closing. it is seriously the quickest way to destroy bubbles) and ate all the bubbles? What's that mom? Bubble bath? I THINK NOT".
Yeah she just stared at me. Apparently "Bubble Monster" is a Megan only thing. Which is kind of sad, because he was way kick ass and I don't think any of my bubble baths would have been quite as cool without him.
I also used give myself bubble beards.
And if we had the good shampoo, I'd lather my hair up real nice and make that shit stand straight up...fuck it, I still do that.
It's the deciding factor of whether or not I buy a shampoo again. Because I'm an adult
Oh. No. Oh no. I just typed "bubble monster" into google to see if I could get a cool picture, and there was a picture of a fat man in a bubble bath holding his penis. Oh dear god. I am pretty sure he was sleeping in the picture, which makes it all the more strange. WHO TOOK THE PICTURE? This is something I can't unsee. Thanks a lot guy.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Braaaainnn.
My brain and I fight a lot. And I don't mean this in a 'I'm fucking nuts" kind of way. Swear. I mean it more of a...we want very different things and can never find a way to agree. Okay I have officially made myself sounds nutso. Let me give a mediocre example.
Alcohol. I am all "Fuck yeah!", and my brains like "DOWN WITH BRAIN CELLS, DOWN WITH YOUR LIVER, I WILL MAKE YOU PAAAY". But this bitch always does all this after the fact. In the process of drinking, it's all like "I am king of the world! I can do anything! This is fucking awwweeesomeee". Why you got to play me like that, brain? I mean, don't make me like something if you are only going to fuck my shit up, down, left, and right. It's just not cool, ya dig?
Alcohol is my friend, and my favorite wing man. If alcohol, and my ego were people, and my confidence was on a really high shelf, alcohol is the type of person that would walk straight up to my ego and give him a boost. Even if he didn't ask/want the help.
Alcohol. I am all "Fuck yeah!", and my brains like "DOWN WITH BRAIN CELLS, DOWN WITH YOUR LIVER, I WILL MAKE YOU PAAAY". But this bitch always does all this after the fact. In the process of drinking, it's all like "I am king of the world! I can do anything! This is fucking awwweeesomeee". Why you got to play me like that, brain? I mean, don't make me like something if you are only going to fuck my shit up, down, left, and right. It's just not cool, ya dig?
Alcohol is my friend, and my favorite wing man. If alcohol, and my ego were people, and my confidence was on a really high shelf, alcohol is the type of person that would walk straight up to my ego and give him a boost. Even if he didn't ask/want the help.
ALSO
bunny kisses.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Beer for dinner
Sometimes, you drink a few beers and you realize you have 0 food in your house. I had carrots, but they froze..in the box of cold. I refuse to let myself walk to Wendy's and buy food. It is literally a block away. I can basically smell that shit in my room. Luckily not even drunk Megan is falling for their trickery. I have a lot of things going on in my brain, that aren't just dates. And I feel like with my "150 dates in 150 days" makes it kind of weird to post a blog about non date related non sense. Then I thought about it some more, and I realized I have had 100 views. So fuck having to follow anything. I am definitely going to write about my dates, but I have some other things floating around in my brain that I have to write out.
One thing is very controversial, and it's just a small idea, that is probably nothing. But hear me out. Or read me out.
When you think about corporations, what words come to your mind? What things have you heard other people say about corporations? What do you feel about them?
Do you feel like they are money based?
Obviously.
Do you feel like all their decisions are based off "how to gain more money"?
yeah.
So this is a pretty open concept, that corporations do shitty things for capital. And since we are all aware of it they can do it in the open, and we don't really do much to stop it.
So that being said.
Government. What have they done to get where they are? Is it not entirely money based? Are you feeling conditioned emotions telling you to defend said government? Would you have even thought about defending the same thing under a different name if it weren't for years of respectable elders telling you to think highly of said government? or even if you think poorly, to hide it? People get put away for public bashing on a grand enough scale.
Conditioning is everything. Are we our brains?
Are we.../\?
Also, my drunk self is very giving. I always wake up to find myself signed up to some sort of volunteer service.
No matter how hard you stare at a pile of clothes, it will not clean itself.
One thing is very controversial, and it's just a small idea, that is probably nothing. But hear me out. Or read me out.
When you think about corporations, what words come to your mind? What things have you heard other people say about corporations? What do you feel about them?
Do you feel like they are money based?
Obviously.
Do you feel like all their decisions are based off "how to gain more money"?
yeah.
So this is a pretty open concept, that corporations do shitty things for capital. And since we are all aware of it they can do it in the open, and we don't really do much to stop it.
So that being said.
Government. What have they done to get where they are? Is it not entirely money based? Are you feeling conditioned emotions telling you to defend said government? Would you have even thought about defending the same thing under a different name if it weren't for years of respectable elders telling you to think highly of said government? or even if you think poorly, to hide it? People get put away for public bashing on a grand enough scale.
Conditioning is everything. Are we our brains?
Are we.../\?
Also, my drunk self is very giving. I always wake up to find myself signed up to some sort of volunteer service.
No matter how hard you stare at a pile of clothes, it will not clean itself.
The date-capades
It's was cold in my house, so I decided to come to my place of employment to write. It's warm in here, and I can get jacked up on green tea as I write!
I slept through an entire day, I am way less concerned about this than I probably should be. I am entirely awake, at 2:44 am. I think my sleep schedule is fucked for good. Oh well.
Date #2:
In high school I was like every other kid, really bad at flirting. I still haven't gotten good enough at it to call myself anything but mediocre at it. I am completely okay with this. So after my first date with Alex, and I had a taste of that magical feeling that is dating, I decided that I needed more in my life. I started to develop an obsession with awkwardly flirting with any boy I was attracted to. I have to touch back later on David, my freshman year dream boy and my college run in with him.
Let's go over date numero dos first. So there was this dude, wearing a cool hat, so naturally I say to him "cool hat, dude". I was really sly, and I said dude wayyy too much as a 14 year old. I had what I now refer to as the "lebowski" syndrome Luckily for me, it was curable. After I commented on this guys hat, which I cannot remember what was so cool about it, but we definitely had a 10 minute conversation on hats. I have no idea why we aren't married. This happened around October, and we would run into each other here and there around school. He was real cute...but had a slight speech impediment This didn't stop me from developing a mad crush on him. He came up to one day at school and inquired what my plans for Halloween were, and I informed him that my 14 year old self planed on going trick or treating and getting sugar high. He found me quite endearing. He asked if he could tag along, and I of course thought this to be a wonderful plan. Now, I've gone over how horrible my flirting skills were as a high schooler, but I also had no idea how to be attractive to the opposite sex, or what sex appeal even was. I wasn't tryin' to get dirty. I just wanted to hold hands. Now with that being said, I of course didn't think about what cute costume I was going to be, oh no. I had previously gotten into my head how funny it would be to ride a scooter to school in a full blown clown costume with a cape. A super idea if you ask me, even now. So I had all my clown gear bought and ready to go, and boy or no boy was going to put a damper on this absurdity that is my life. So, after my scooter adventure, a millions after laughs and searching for a place to store my scooter, I had my trick or treat date with cool hat dude. I'd like to point out now that I have a habit of nicknaming guys, and the nick name sticking forever. Anyhow I showed up in my not even close to being attractive clown costume. I mean I had face make up, and shit ton of it. I am going to find a picture and post it when this is all written out. We had a magical night of running around a shitty part of town getting told we were way too old to trick or treat and taking their candy anyways. He asked me to be his ladyfriend, clown faced and all. I said yes. A week into our relationship, we went to the movies with my friends, and he insisted on holding BOTH of my hands, both of them. I couldn't even have a hand to myself. I was also the most innocent little girl in the world, and when I said it was cold out he informed me that his (remember the speech impediment I casually mentioned earlier?) that his "twuck was weal warm", He was forever known has Twuck Joe, and dumped the next day. Not because he wasn't capable of R's, but give a girl a hand, will ya?
So, I have to mention David now, because he won't be in any of my date stories since we never actually went on a date. I had the BIGGEST crush on this guy since the moment I laid eyes on his entirety. I mean this guy was fucking beautiful. So I may have stalked him a bit, and I believe I asked for his number. I was the most ballsy awkward girl in the fucking world. I mean, seriously, it made no sense how much courage I had when it came to talking to guys. Anyways, this guy was a Junior when I was a Freshman and way out of my league. He was pretty cool, I was....well not cool. So one day while walking to my car in college, I say Mr. Cutie himself walking up to his car, which was parked right next to mine (thank you life, I owe you big). Don't worry, that motherfucker managed to get CUTER after high school Asshole. I looked a little better myself, not much cooler but I definitely didn't get any lamer (woo!). So I put my stuff in my car extra slow, and kept looking over at him, who was actually looking back over to me. OOHH YEAAAH. He initiates, and asks if he knows me. I say "Possibly, did you go to north?" and we realize that we knew each other in high school. Luckily he didn't catch on to the stalking I might have done. We make a few jokes, he says something about being hungry and I suggest we get some food. I took that bitch to del taco, and we ate tacos. I got his number. We hung out. It was my one goal to lay my high school crush. I don't complete a lot of goals, but don't worry this one got a check mark. A mighty big check mark might I add.
Can you block family from reading blogs?
Whatever. HEY MOM I AM NOT A VIRGIN. There, I don't feel so weird now.
Who has game? This clown (not pictured is my dignity)
I slept through an entire day, I am way less concerned about this than I probably should be. I am entirely awake, at 2:44 am. I think my sleep schedule is fucked for good. Oh well.
Date #2:
In high school I was like every other kid, really bad at flirting. I still haven't gotten good enough at it to call myself anything but mediocre at it. I am completely okay with this. So after my first date with Alex, and I had a taste of that magical feeling that is dating, I decided that I needed more in my life. I started to develop an obsession with awkwardly flirting with any boy I was attracted to. I have to touch back later on David, my freshman year dream boy and my college run in with him.
Let's go over date numero dos first. So there was this dude, wearing a cool hat, so naturally I say to him "cool hat, dude". I was really sly, and I said dude wayyy too much as a 14 year old. I had what I now refer to as the "lebowski" syndrome Luckily for me, it was curable. After I commented on this guys hat, which I cannot remember what was so cool about it, but we definitely had a 10 minute conversation on hats. I have no idea why we aren't married. This happened around October, and we would run into each other here and there around school. He was real cute...but had a slight speech impediment This didn't stop me from developing a mad crush on him. He came up to one day at school and inquired what my plans for Halloween were, and I informed him that my 14 year old self planed on going trick or treating and getting sugar high. He found me quite endearing. He asked if he could tag along, and I of course thought this to be a wonderful plan. Now, I've gone over how horrible my flirting skills were as a high schooler, but I also had no idea how to be attractive to the opposite sex, or what sex appeal even was. I wasn't tryin' to get dirty. I just wanted to hold hands. Now with that being said, I of course didn't think about what cute costume I was going to be, oh no. I had previously gotten into my head how funny it would be to ride a scooter to school in a full blown clown costume with a cape. A super idea if you ask me, even now. So I had all my clown gear bought and ready to go, and boy or no boy was going to put a damper on this absurdity that is my life. So, after my scooter adventure, a millions after laughs and searching for a place to store my scooter, I had my trick or treat date with cool hat dude. I'd like to point out now that I have a habit of nicknaming guys, and the nick name sticking forever. Anyhow I showed up in my not even close to being attractive clown costume. I mean I had face make up, and shit ton of it. I am going to find a picture and post it when this is all written out. We had a magical night of running around a shitty part of town getting told we were way too old to trick or treat and taking their candy anyways. He asked me to be his ladyfriend, clown faced and all. I said yes. A week into our relationship, we went to the movies with my friends, and he insisted on holding BOTH of my hands, both of them. I couldn't even have a hand to myself. I was also the most innocent little girl in the world, and when I said it was cold out he informed me that his (remember the speech impediment I casually mentioned earlier?) that his "twuck was weal warm", He was forever known has Twuck Joe, and dumped the next day. Not because he wasn't capable of R's, but give a girl a hand, will ya?
So, I have to mention David now, because he won't be in any of my date stories since we never actually went on a date. I had the BIGGEST crush on this guy since the moment I laid eyes on his entirety. I mean this guy was fucking beautiful. So I may have stalked him a bit, and I believe I asked for his number. I was the most ballsy awkward girl in the fucking world. I mean, seriously, it made no sense how much courage I had when it came to talking to guys. Anyways, this guy was a Junior when I was a Freshman and way out of my league. He was pretty cool, I was....well not cool. So one day while walking to my car in college, I say Mr. Cutie himself walking up to his car, which was parked right next to mine (thank you life, I owe you big). Don't worry, that motherfucker managed to get CUTER after high school Asshole. I looked a little better myself, not much cooler but I definitely didn't get any lamer (woo!). So I put my stuff in my car extra slow, and kept looking over at him, who was actually looking back over to me. OOHH YEAAAH. He initiates, and asks if he knows me. I say "Possibly, did you go to north?" and we realize that we knew each other in high school. Luckily he didn't catch on to the stalking I might have done. We make a few jokes, he says something about being hungry and I suggest we get some food. I took that bitch to del taco, and we ate tacos. I got his number. We hung out. It was my one goal to lay my high school crush. I don't complete a lot of goals, but don't worry this one got a check mark. A mighty big check mark might I add.
Can you block family from reading blogs?
Whatever. HEY MOM I AM NOT A VIRGIN. There, I don't feel so weird now.
Who has game? This clown (not pictured is my dignity)
Friday, November 16, 2012
150 first dates
I've been on 150 first dates. No seriously. I have been wanting to write a book on this little feat of mine. I think I will start with writing a blog a day, everyday for 150 days.
Let's start out by describing me a bit, so you realize that this is a phenomenon in itself that a girl like me has gotten that many dates. In the looks department I am completely average. I am a bit on the tall side ( 5'7), normal weight with curves and no boobs. Yep, no shame here. I have green eyes, redish hair.
I probably painted a hideous picture of myself, which is cool. I am just trying to prove that I did not score all of these dates because I am a total babe. On the babe-o-meter I am probably closer to Ruth. I am just a girl who for some reason or another has been on more first dates than anyone she's ever met.
Date #1:
I was a really awkward girl in highschool. Not Micheal Scott awkward, thank god, but still enough that thinking back I sometimes shudder to think of myself then. My first date was with a guy named Alex, whom I still find entirely endearing. I was a freshman at the time, and he was a Junior. I first met him at his place of work, which at the time was Target. He had a smile that made my inner school girl melt, and my outterschool girl make really awkward jokes in hopes he would think I was funny. This will be an on going theme for probably the rest of my life. This was the era of Myspace, circa 2006. So naturally I stalked him, added him and sent that cutie a message. To my surprise, he seemed pretty into me. I probably blushed for at least a week when he called me cute. So, after putting in some intense man hours at my computer, slaving away on the keyboard typing out witty messages and subtle flirty comments, I decided to make my move. Little did I know I would be doing this a lot in my life. I asked him to see a movie. Mother fucker said yes (insert a picture of me doing a happy dance in your head now). This was INSANE, a cute guy agreed to see a movie with awkward freshman me? I was thrilled. First I had to come up with an awesome lie to tell my mother, for I was not allowed to date. So after I sold my soul to the devil, I got ready for my date. He was going to pick me up at 8. I tried not to act frazzled as I left the house, but I am pretty sure I about peed myself when he got there. We went and saw ultra violet, and the theater was entirely too cold so he gave me his jacket. Yeah, I was in love. After the date he drove me home, I had to be back by 11. I looked him straight in his chocolate brown eyes and asked if it would be okay if I kissed him. Don't worry, it totally was. I then proceeded to kiss him right on the mouth, with my mouth. It was a little peck, but still made me feel like I was frolicking in clouds. So giddy Megan skipped all the way to her room, and it was that was the start of my first date addiction.
I was dressed like a clown for my second date. Stayed tuned.
Let's start out by describing me a bit, so you realize that this is a phenomenon in itself that a girl like me has gotten that many dates. In the looks department I am completely average. I am a bit on the tall side ( 5'7), normal weight with curves and no boobs. Yep, no shame here. I have green eyes, redish hair.
I probably painted a hideous picture of myself, which is cool. I am just trying to prove that I did not score all of these dates because I am a total babe. On the babe-o-meter I am probably closer to Ruth. I am just a girl who for some reason or another has been on more first dates than anyone she's ever met.
Date #1:
I was a really awkward girl in highschool. Not Micheal Scott awkward, thank god, but still enough that thinking back I sometimes shudder to think of myself then. My first date was with a guy named Alex, whom I still find entirely endearing. I was a freshman at the time, and he was a Junior. I first met him at his place of work, which at the time was Target. He had a smile that made my inner school girl melt, and my outterschool girl make really awkward jokes in hopes he would think I was funny. This will be an on going theme for probably the rest of my life. This was the era of Myspace, circa 2006. So naturally I stalked him, added him and sent that cutie a message. To my surprise, he seemed pretty into me. I probably blushed for at least a week when he called me cute. So, after putting in some intense man hours at my computer, slaving away on the keyboard typing out witty messages and subtle flirty comments, I decided to make my move. Little did I know I would be doing this a lot in my life. I asked him to see a movie. Mother fucker said yes (insert a picture of me doing a happy dance in your head now). This was INSANE, a cute guy agreed to see a movie with awkward freshman me? I was thrilled. First I had to come up with an awesome lie to tell my mother, for I was not allowed to date. So after I sold my soul to the devil, I got ready for my date. He was going to pick me up at 8. I tried not to act frazzled as I left the house, but I am pretty sure I about peed myself when he got there. We went and saw ultra violet, and the theater was entirely too cold so he gave me his jacket. Yeah, I was in love. After the date he drove me home, I had to be back by 11. I looked him straight in his chocolate brown eyes and asked if it would be okay if I kissed him. Don't worry, it totally was. I then proceeded to kiss him right on the mouth, with my mouth. It was a little peck, but still made me feel like I was frolicking in clouds. So giddy Megan skipped all the way to her room, and it was that was the start of my first date addiction.
I was dressed like a clown for my second date. Stayed tuned.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Post it note
I am currently drunk. I don't care to admit that. I just want to know when you had to be so fancy while being drunk. I came up with a line :they used to call me feather, can i tickle your fancy?"
what is wrong wtihh telling a guy you think he is totally attractive?
what is wrong wtihh telling a guy you think he is totally attractive?
Monday, November 12, 2012
This is a stickup, toaster
So, I reached a new low tonight. you never see it coming until it's already staring you point blank in the face, saying "really?". I was making Pop Tarts, and the little bitch got stuck in the toaster, so I turned it upside down and shook it until my prized strawberry filled treat came flying out. I then took a step back, and really thought about what just happened. I might as well of been the bully at school, taking the toasters lunch money.
Just had a great idea for an App. Bored with money. It has you enter how much cash youre willing to blow, and gives you activities at random.
Just had a great idea for an App. Bored with money. It has you enter how much cash youre willing to blow, and gives you activities at random.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Today was a good day
Today is just another day. I didn't wake up any richer than when I went to sleep, I didn't wake up any person that wasn't me. One amazing thing did happen though, I woke up. If you are awake today, congrats.
So this has been a week to remember, that is for damn sure. I was writing in my journal after I got off of work Thursday, and I had written that life hasn't given me a reason to fall in love, and that's as much as I got to write because life was like "oh yeah, sister? Check this shit out" (life is a very sassy black women in this scenario). And BAM, a very attractive guy starts a little small talk with me and we end up having an amazing time hanging out. But, as we all know, life is a bitch. He was only in town visiting, so of course when I finally meet a guy who is completely my type and we hit it off like everybody's business, he is leaving the next day. Dick move, life. So lesson learned: Never call out life, unless you want her to bitch slap you.
On a lighter note, I recently watched the Tupac hologram video. Seriously? Who the fuck do I talk to about getting me one of those? I'd like to start a prop to start a hologram tax, that takes a dollar away from each of the current taxes happening and throw it in a fund to get each and everyone of us a hologram. Look for it on your next ballot: Prop Tupac.
Maybe I'll just become President. All da money towards hoverboards and holograms.
Also, another thought. I think the address to the white house should just be "The White House, Washington, DC". It should be that simple to crank out some mailage to my friend the President. I shouldn't have to google anything, and I don't see why this wouldnt work. I mean you' d have to be a class A idiot not to know where to deliver this to. I mean seriously.
So this has been a week to remember, that is for damn sure. I was writing in my journal after I got off of work Thursday, and I had written that life hasn't given me a reason to fall in love, and that's as much as I got to write because life was like "oh yeah, sister? Check this shit out" (life is a very sassy black women in this scenario). And BAM, a very attractive guy starts a little small talk with me and we end up having an amazing time hanging out. But, as we all know, life is a bitch. He was only in town visiting, so of course when I finally meet a guy who is completely my type and we hit it off like everybody's business, he is leaving the next day. Dick move, life. So lesson learned: Never call out life, unless you want her to bitch slap you.
On a lighter note, I recently watched the Tupac hologram video. Seriously? Who the fuck do I talk to about getting me one of those? I'd like to start a prop to start a hologram tax, that takes a dollar away from each of the current taxes happening and throw it in a fund to get each and everyone of us a hologram. Look for it on your next ballot: Prop Tupac.
Maybe I'll just become President. All da money towards hoverboards and holograms.
Also, another thought. I think the address to the white house should just be "The White House, Washington, DC". It should be that simple to crank out some mailage to my friend the President. I shouldn't have to google anything, and I don't see why this wouldnt work. I mean you' d have to be a class A idiot not to know where to deliver this to. I mean seriously.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
gamer problems
So I have ran into this problem many times before
when i was hanging out with just one person, and we felt like playing a board
game, but every game that was avalible required 3-6 people, 4-8
none for just two
so i came up with a comic, but no really because i didnt draw any pictures
so use your imagination
Friend1: Hey, you want to play life?
Friend2: sure get it out
Friend1: oh wait, it says here you need 4-8 players in order to play
Friend2: Well thats okay, what other games do you got?
Friend1: Uhhmm, i have crainum, but that requires teams...andwe only make one team
Friend2: I think these games are telling us we need to branch out and make more friends
so we can break free from our anti-social issues and become more out going individuals
Friend1: i highly doubt a board game is the least bit worried about our "social problems"
Friend2: yeah your probably right, you got checkers?
Friend1: always!
And even if you have 4-8 people
whos to say that many people are interested in playing that game with you?
you dont just need 4-8 people
you need 4-8 gamers, people who know where the good times are at.
and its conveniently located in a box, in case you were wondering
So thats my thought of the da
when i was hanging out with just one person, and we felt like playing a board
game, but every game that was avalible required 3-6 people, 4-8
none for just two
so i came up with a comic, but no really because i didnt draw any pictures
so use your imagination
Friend1: Hey, you want to play life?
Friend2: sure get it out
Friend1: oh wait, it says here you need 4-8 players in order to play
Friend2: Well thats okay, what other games do you got?
Friend1: Uhhmm, i have crainum, but that requires teams...andwe only make one team
Friend2: I think these games are telling us we need to branch out and make more friends
so we can break free from our anti-social issues and become more out going individuals
Friend1: i highly doubt a board game is the least bit worried about our "social problems"
Friend2: yeah your probably right, you got checkers?
Friend1: always!
And even if you have 4-8 people
whos to say that many people are interested in playing that game with you?
you dont just need 4-8 people
you need 4-8 gamers, people who know where the good times are at.
and its conveniently located in a box, in case you were wondering
So thats my thought of the da
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Tonight was epic. List of events.
1. Watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother
2. Drank a Shirley Temple
3. Rode a scooter and made sound effects.
4. Went to a bar to play skee ball
5. Realize the skee ball is set to 'free mode'
6. FREAK THE FUCK OUT
7. Won at skee ball
8. Like a boss
9. Played "bohemian rhapsody" and had an entire bar sing it with me
10. Epic jumping around guitar solo
11. Joined a group of strangers to do famous Phil Collins drum solo from in the air tonight
12. Ended the night by watching this video;
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/f-Kt_kuYVtU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
sometimes I don't think it's fair I'm the only one that gets to live my life.
1. Watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother
2. Drank a Shirley Temple
3. Rode a scooter and made sound effects.
4. Went to a bar to play skee ball
5. Realize the skee ball is set to 'free mode'
6. FREAK THE FUCK OUT
7. Won at skee ball
8. Like a boss
9. Played "bohemian rhapsody" and had an entire bar sing it with me
10. Epic jumping around guitar solo
11. Joined a group of strangers to do famous Phil Collins drum solo from in the air tonight
12. Ended the night by watching this video;
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/f-Kt_kuYVtU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
sometimes I don't think it's fair I'm the only one that gets to live my life.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Gangster on the mind
All I want to do is hear a gangster giggle. Like really giggle.
I was driving home tonight, and in the distance I see a guy walking very slow in the middle of the street and doesn't seem to react to my quick approach. So naturally I assume it's a zombie, and consider my options for attack. Once in close enough range, I realize it is just a gangster whose low pants have made it difficult for him to walk at any other pace. I then think of how humorous zombies dressed up like gangsters, that also rap would be. So the rest of the ride home I think of raps that zombies would sing.
Sometimes I blast really sad music for a good hour straight, and then throw in some Notorious B.I.G or DMX to really confuse my roommates.
Just another Monday.
I was driving home tonight, and in the distance I see a guy walking very slow in the middle of the street and doesn't seem to react to my quick approach. So naturally I assume it's a zombie, and consider my options for attack. Once in close enough range, I realize it is just a gangster whose low pants have made it difficult for him to walk at any other pace. I then think of how humorous zombies dressed up like gangsters, that also rap would be. So the rest of the ride home I think of raps that zombies would sing.
Sometimes I blast really sad music for a good hour straight, and then throw in some Notorious B.I.G or DMX to really confuse my roommates.
Just another Monday.
Does anyone else have trouble deciding how exactly to spend their time not doing anything productive? I constantly find myself browsing the shit out of everything, deciding to use the time to mindlessly educate myself on things I should probably have already been educated on. For example, watching extremely informative documentaries on Netflix, as opposed to watching, say, Rugrats. Constantly I turn these documentaries on, and get distracted 10 minutes in, and start looking at other things on the internet, like memes, or pintrest. Then I finally decide I am not even listening to this video anymore and put on a nice playlist.
Until of course I decide I am wasting my time and that I should really watch that Food Inc. everyone has been "going vegan" over.
Which of course I am watching while eating a bowl of fresh from the farm Cocoa Pebbles.
That's when you really realize your shit is whack. Way whack.
Also, on an entirely unrelated note, I fucking love Will Farrell. I am sick of you ninnies saying he is a one act pony. First of all, there is nothing wrong with being AMAZING at something and sticking to it.
You wouldn't go up to an award winning gymnast and tell them to try pro-wrestling instead, because yeah it's pretty fucking cool doing all those flips and whatever, but we're bored of watching you do the same thing over again you spent your whole life perfecting.
You also wouldn't tell a friend of yours that, yeah you get they are good at listening, but maybe they should start interrupting the shit out of you when you are spilling your heart out about that one guy, who is probably an asshole.
You wouldn't do any of these things because they are absurd. Just like hating Will Farrell because he is a one trick pony. Because sure, maybe he only has one trick, but that trick is fucking magical, beautiful and special every time he does it. Bitches can say otherwise, but I'm not listening.
Until of course I decide I am wasting my time and that I should really watch that Food Inc. everyone has been "going vegan" over.
Which of course I am watching while eating a bowl of fresh from the farm Cocoa Pebbles.
That's when you really realize your shit is whack. Way whack.
Also, on an entirely unrelated note, I fucking love Will Farrell. I am sick of you ninnies saying he is a one act pony. First of all, there is nothing wrong with being AMAZING at something and sticking to it.
You wouldn't go up to an award winning gymnast and tell them to try pro-wrestling instead, because yeah it's pretty fucking cool doing all those flips and whatever, but we're bored of watching you do the same thing over again you spent your whole life perfecting.
You also wouldn't tell a friend of yours that, yeah you get they are good at listening, but maybe they should start interrupting the shit out of you when you are spilling your heart out about that one guy, who is probably an asshole.
You wouldn't do any of these things because they are absurd. Just like hating Will Farrell because he is a one trick pony. Because sure, maybe he only has one trick, but that trick is fucking magical, beautiful and special every time he does it. Bitches can say otherwise, but I'm not listening.
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