I slept through an entire day, I am way less concerned about this than I probably should be. I am entirely awake, at 2:44 am. I think my sleep schedule is fucked for good. Oh well.
Date #2:
In high school I was like every other kid, really bad at flirting. I still haven't gotten good enough at it to call myself anything but mediocre at it. I am completely okay with this. So after my first date with Alex, and I had a taste of that magical feeling that is dating, I decided that I needed more in my life. I started to develop an obsession with awkwardly flirting with any boy I was attracted to. I have to touch back later on David, my freshman year dream boy and my college run in with him.
Let's go over date numero dos first. So there was this dude, wearing a cool hat, so naturally I say to him "cool hat, dude". I was really sly, and I said dude wayyy too much as a 14 year old. I had what I now refer to as the "lebowski" syndrome Luckily for me, it was curable. After I commented on this guys hat, which I cannot remember what was so cool about it, but we definitely had a 10 minute conversation on hats. I have no idea why we aren't married. This happened around October, and we would run into each other here and there around school. He was real cute...but had a slight speech impediment This didn't stop me from developing a mad crush on him. He came up to one day at school and inquired what my plans for Halloween were, and I informed him that my 14 year old self planed on going trick or treating and getting sugar high. He found me quite endearing. He asked if he could tag along, and I of course thought this to be a wonderful plan. Now, I've gone over how horrible my flirting skills were as a high schooler, but I also had no idea how to be attractive to the opposite sex, or what sex appeal even was. I wasn't tryin' to get dirty. I just wanted to hold hands. Now with that being said, I of course didn't think about what cute costume I was going to be, oh no. I had previously gotten into my head how funny it would be to ride a scooter to school in a full blown clown costume with a cape. A super idea if you ask me, even now. So I had all my clown gear bought and ready to go, and boy or no boy was going to put a damper on this absurdity that is my life. So, after my scooter adventure, a millions after laughs and searching for a place to store my scooter, I had my trick or treat date with cool hat dude. I'd like to point out now that I have a habit of nicknaming guys, and the nick name sticking forever. Anyhow I showed up in my not even close to being attractive clown costume. I mean I had face make up, and shit ton of it. I am going to find a picture and post it when this is all written out. We had a magical night of running around a shitty part of town getting told we were way too old to trick or treat and taking their candy anyways. He asked me to be his ladyfriend, clown faced and all. I said yes. A week into our relationship, we went to the movies with my friends, and he insisted on holding BOTH of my hands, both of them. I couldn't even have a hand to myself. I was also the most innocent little girl in the world, and when I said it was cold out he informed me that his (remember the speech impediment I casually mentioned earlier?) that his "twuck was weal warm", He was forever known has Twuck Joe, and dumped the next day. Not because he wasn't capable of R's, but give a girl a hand, will ya?
So, I have to mention David now, because he won't be in any of my date stories since we never actually went on a date. I had the BIGGEST crush on this guy since the moment I laid eyes on his entirety. I mean this guy was fucking beautiful. So I may have stalked him a bit, and I believe I asked for his number. I was the most ballsy awkward girl in the fucking world. I mean, seriously, it made no sense how much courage I had when it came to talking to guys. Anyways, this guy was a Junior when I was a Freshman and way out of my league. He was pretty cool, I was....well not cool. So one day while walking to my car in college, I say Mr. Cutie himself walking up to his car, which was parked right next to mine (thank you life, I owe you big). Don't worry, that motherfucker managed to get CUTER after high school Asshole. I looked a little better myself, not much cooler but I definitely didn't get any lamer (woo!). So I put my stuff in my car extra slow, and kept looking over at him, who was actually looking back over to me. OOHH YEAAAH. He initiates, and asks if he knows me. I say "Possibly, did you go to north?" and we realize that we knew each other in high school. Luckily he didn't catch on to the stalking I might have done. We make a few jokes, he says something about being hungry and I suggest we get some food. I took that bitch to del taco, and we ate tacos. I got his number. We hung out. It was my one goal to lay my high school crush. I don't complete a lot of goals, but don't worry this one got a check mark. A mighty big check mark might I add.
Can you block family from reading blogs?
Whatever. HEY MOM I AM NOT A VIRGIN. There, I don't feel so weird now.
Who has game? This clown (not pictured is my dignity)
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