I am currently drunk. I don't care to admit that. I just want to know when you had to be so fancy while being drunk. I came up with a line :they used to call me feather, can i tickle your fancy?"
what is wrong wtihh telling a guy you think he is totally attractive?
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
This is a stickup, toaster
So, I reached a new low tonight. you never see it coming until it's already staring you point blank in the face, saying "really?". I was making Pop Tarts, and the little bitch got stuck in the toaster, so I turned it upside down and shook it until my prized strawberry filled treat came flying out. I then took a step back, and really thought about what just happened. I might as well of been the bully at school, taking the toasters lunch money.
Just had a great idea for an App. Bored with money. It has you enter how much cash youre willing to blow, and gives you activities at random.
Just had a great idea for an App. Bored with money. It has you enter how much cash youre willing to blow, and gives you activities at random.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Today was a good day
Today is just another day. I didn't wake up any richer than when I went to sleep, I didn't wake up any person that wasn't me. One amazing thing did happen though, I woke up. If you are awake today, congrats.
So this has been a week to remember, that is for damn sure. I was writing in my journal after I got off of work Thursday, and I had written that life hasn't given me a reason to fall in love, and that's as much as I got to write because life was like "oh yeah, sister? Check this shit out" (life is a very sassy black women in this scenario). And BAM, a very attractive guy starts a little small talk with me and we end up having an amazing time hanging out. But, as we all know, life is a bitch. He was only in town visiting, so of course when I finally meet a guy who is completely my type and we hit it off like everybody's business, he is leaving the next day. Dick move, life. So lesson learned: Never call out life, unless you want her to bitch slap you.
On a lighter note, I recently watched the Tupac hologram video. Seriously? Who the fuck do I talk to about getting me one of those? I'd like to start a prop to start a hologram tax, that takes a dollar away from each of the current taxes happening and throw it in a fund to get each and everyone of us a hologram. Look for it on your next ballot: Prop Tupac.
Maybe I'll just become President. All da money towards hoverboards and holograms.
Also, another thought. I think the address to the white house should just be "The White House, Washington, DC". It should be that simple to crank out some mailage to my friend the President. I shouldn't have to google anything, and I don't see why this wouldnt work. I mean you' d have to be a class A idiot not to know where to deliver this to. I mean seriously.
So this has been a week to remember, that is for damn sure. I was writing in my journal after I got off of work Thursday, and I had written that life hasn't given me a reason to fall in love, and that's as much as I got to write because life was like "oh yeah, sister? Check this shit out" (life is a very sassy black women in this scenario). And BAM, a very attractive guy starts a little small talk with me and we end up having an amazing time hanging out. But, as we all know, life is a bitch. He was only in town visiting, so of course when I finally meet a guy who is completely my type and we hit it off like everybody's business, he is leaving the next day. Dick move, life. So lesson learned: Never call out life, unless you want her to bitch slap you.
On a lighter note, I recently watched the Tupac hologram video. Seriously? Who the fuck do I talk to about getting me one of those? I'd like to start a prop to start a hologram tax, that takes a dollar away from each of the current taxes happening and throw it in a fund to get each and everyone of us a hologram. Look for it on your next ballot: Prop Tupac.
Maybe I'll just become President. All da money towards hoverboards and holograms.
Also, another thought. I think the address to the white house should just be "The White House, Washington, DC". It should be that simple to crank out some mailage to my friend the President. I shouldn't have to google anything, and I don't see why this wouldnt work. I mean you' d have to be a class A idiot not to know where to deliver this to. I mean seriously.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
gamer problems
So I have ran into this problem many times before
when i was hanging out with just one person, and we felt like playing a board
game, but every game that was avalible required 3-6 people, 4-8
none for just two
so i came up with a comic, but no really because i didnt draw any pictures
so use your imagination
Friend1: Hey, you want to play life?
Friend2: sure get it out
Friend1: oh wait, it says here you need 4-8 players in order to play
Friend2: Well thats okay, what other games do you got?
Friend1: Uhhmm, i have crainum, but that requires teams...andwe only make one team
Friend2: I think these games are telling us we need to branch out and make more friends
so we can break free from our anti-social issues and become more out going individuals
Friend1: i highly doubt a board game is the least bit worried about our "social problems"
Friend2: yeah your probably right, you got checkers?
Friend1: always!
And even if you have 4-8 people
whos to say that many people are interested in playing that game with you?
you dont just need 4-8 people
you need 4-8 gamers, people who know where the good times are at.
and its conveniently located in a box, in case you were wondering
So thats my thought of the da
when i was hanging out with just one person, and we felt like playing a board
game, but every game that was avalible required 3-6 people, 4-8
none for just two
so i came up with a comic, but no really because i didnt draw any pictures
so use your imagination
Friend1: Hey, you want to play life?
Friend2: sure get it out
Friend1: oh wait, it says here you need 4-8 players in order to play
Friend2: Well thats okay, what other games do you got?
Friend1: Uhhmm, i have crainum, but that requires teams...andwe only make one team
Friend2: I think these games are telling us we need to branch out and make more friends
so we can break free from our anti-social issues and become more out going individuals
Friend1: i highly doubt a board game is the least bit worried about our "social problems"
Friend2: yeah your probably right, you got checkers?
Friend1: always!
And even if you have 4-8 people
whos to say that many people are interested in playing that game with you?
you dont just need 4-8 people
you need 4-8 gamers, people who know where the good times are at.
and its conveniently located in a box, in case you were wondering
So thats my thought of the da
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Tonight was epic. List of events.
1. Watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother
2. Drank a Shirley Temple
3. Rode a scooter and made sound effects.
4. Went to a bar to play skee ball
5. Realize the skee ball is set to 'free mode'
6. FREAK THE FUCK OUT
7. Won at skee ball
8. Like a boss
9. Played "bohemian rhapsody" and had an entire bar sing it with me
10. Epic jumping around guitar solo
11. Joined a group of strangers to do famous Phil Collins drum solo from in the air tonight
12. Ended the night by watching this video;
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/f-Kt_kuYVtU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
sometimes I don't think it's fair I'm the only one that gets to live my life.
1. Watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother
2. Drank a Shirley Temple
3. Rode a scooter and made sound effects.
4. Went to a bar to play skee ball
5. Realize the skee ball is set to 'free mode'
6. FREAK THE FUCK OUT
7. Won at skee ball
8. Like a boss
9. Played "bohemian rhapsody" and had an entire bar sing it with me
10. Epic jumping around guitar solo
11. Joined a group of strangers to do famous Phil Collins drum solo from in the air tonight
12. Ended the night by watching this video;
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/f-Kt_kuYVtU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
sometimes I don't think it's fair I'm the only one that gets to live my life.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Gangster on the mind
All I want to do is hear a gangster giggle. Like really giggle.
I was driving home tonight, and in the distance I see a guy walking very slow in the middle of the street and doesn't seem to react to my quick approach. So naturally I assume it's a zombie, and consider my options for attack. Once in close enough range, I realize it is just a gangster whose low pants have made it difficult for him to walk at any other pace. I then think of how humorous zombies dressed up like gangsters, that also rap would be. So the rest of the ride home I think of raps that zombies would sing.
Sometimes I blast really sad music for a good hour straight, and then throw in some Notorious B.I.G or DMX to really confuse my roommates.
Just another Monday.
I was driving home tonight, and in the distance I see a guy walking very slow in the middle of the street and doesn't seem to react to my quick approach. So naturally I assume it's a zombie, and consider my options for attack. Once in close enough range, I realize it is just a gangster whose low pants have made it difficult for him to walk at any other pace. I then think of how humorous zombies dressed up like gangsters, that also rap would be. So the rest of the ride home I think of raps that zombies would sing.
Sometimes I blast really sad music for a good hour straight, and then throw in some Notorious B.I.G or DMX to really confuse my roommates.
Just another Monday.
Does anyone else have trouble deciding how exactly to spend their time not doing anything productive? I constantly find myself browsing the shit out of everything, deciding to use the time to mindlessly educate myself on things I should probably have already been educated on. For example, watching extremely informative documentaries on Netflix, as opposed to watching, say, Rugrats. Constantly I turn these documentaries on, and get distracted 10 minutes in, and start looking at other things on the internet, like memes, or pintrest. Then I finally decide I am not even listening to this video anymore and put on a nice playlist.
Until of course I decide I am wasting my time and that I should really watch that Food Inc. everyone has been "going vegan" over.
Which of course I am watching while eating a bowl of fresh from the farm Cocoa Pebbles.
That's when you really realize your shit is whack. Way whack.
Also, on an entirely unrelated note, I fucking love Will Farrell. I am sick of you ninnies saying he is a one act pony. First of all, there is nothing wrong with being AMAZING at something and sticking to it.
You wouldn't go up to an award winning gymnast and tell them to try pro-wrestling instead, because yeah it's pretty fucking cool doing all those flips and whatever, but we're bored of watching you do the same thing over again you spent your whole life perfecting.
You also wouldn't tell a friend of yours that, yeah you get they are good at listening, but maybe they should start interrupting the shit out of you when you are spilling your heart out about that one guy, who is probably an asshole.
You wouldn't do any of these things because they are absurd. Just like hating Will Farrell because he is a one trick pony. Because sure, maybe he only has one trick, but that trick is fucking magical, beautiful and special every time he does it. Bitches can say otherwise, but I'm not listening.
Until of course I decide I am wasting my time and that I should really watch that Food Inc. everyone has been "going vegan" over.
Which of course I am watching while eating a bowl of fresh from the farm Cocoa Pebbles.
That's when you really realize your shit is whack. Way whack.
Also, on an entirely unrelated note, I fucking love Will Farrell. I am sick of you ninnies saying he is a one act pony. First of all, there is nothing wrong with being AMAZING at something and sticking to it.
You wouldn't go up to an award winning gymnast and tell them to try pro-wrestling instead, because yeah it's pretty fucking cool doing all those flips and whatever, but we're bored of watching you do the same thing over again you spent your whole life perfecting.
You also wouldn't tell a friend of yours that, yeah you get they are good at listening, but maybe they should start interrupting the shit out of you when you are spilling your heart out about that one guy, who is probably an asshole.
You wouldn't do any of these things because they are absurd. Just like hating Will Farrell because he is a one trick pony. Because sure, maybe he only has one trick, but that trick is fucking magical, beautiful and special every time he does it. Bitches can say otherwise, but I'm not listening.
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